The #1 Problem Facing The Bulls This Offseason

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August 8, 2013 by mikeyrose

For many Chicago Bulls fans the off-season’s biggest storyline has been the return of Derrick Rose followed closely by the did they or didn’t they rumors surrounding Jimmy Butler and Miley Cyrus.  There’s one story however that as so far gone unreported that could have drastic consequences on the upcoming season and potentially divide the locker room, yes, naturally I am talking about Carlos Boozer stealing Luol Deng’s pet dolphin Chachi.

The world first learned of Chachi when the then New Orleans Hornets brilliantly let Will Ferrell introduce the players before a February 8, 2012 game between the Bulls and The Team Formerly Known As The Hornets down in New Orleans.

While many were amazed to learn about Ronnie Brewer’s ability to eat 20 hot dogs in an hour, and women fell even more in love with Derrick Rose after hearing his favorite movie was The Notebook, it was the revelation of Luol Deng’s aquatic pet Chachi that captured everyone’s attention.

Dolphins, long been known as one of the animal kingdom’s most intelligent animals, reached new heights of intelligence when Chachi opened up his own twitter account (@ChachiDeng), proving that Dolphins could tweet.

Chachi quickly gained followers sharing his passion for the Bulls, in particular, Chicago’s two-time all-star and veteran leader Luol Deng.  Chachi continued tweeting pretty regularly all the way through this years’ playoffs where the Bulls were eliminated in the second round and Luol Deng was hospitalized with complications from a spinal tap after doctors feared he may have had viral meningitis.

With his owner and caretaker hospitalized, fellow veteran and fellow Duke alumni Carlos Boozer stepped up to care for Chachi.  All seemed great, Chachi was going to spend some time in Miami while Luol got his much needed R&R.

On July 2nd, Carlos Boozer instagrammed a seemingly innocent photo of himself and Chachi, since this time Chachi’s tweeting abruptly halted.  My sources are now telling me this wasn’t simply a well-timed photo, but proof of life sent along with Boozer’s ransom request for Chachi to Luol Deng.

boozdolphin

A month has since passed with no resolution to this conflict.  Bulls’ front office personnel have been trying to keep the conflict in-house but this reporter was able to obtain this information from recently released assistant coach Ron Adams.

Apparently the issue stems from a simple misunderstanding.  Boozer is looking to be compensated for taking care of Chachi during Luol’s recovery while Luol argues that taking care of one’s pets is simply par for the course of being a good teammate.

Now the front office’s worst fear is coming true, Luol and Carlos are demanding their teammates pick a side in this ongoing debate.

Will Chachi be returned to his proper owner prior to opening night?  If not, will Derrick Rose even have a team to return to?

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